October 23, 2009

Will Professional Coaching Help A Woman Find Mr Right?

Whatever circumstances you find yourself in and however you arrived at your role of single mum, after a certain time you will probably seek romance once again! Sooner or later you might think about re-entering the dating scene. But you might feel that you are a little "rusty" for dating and of course, you are not exactly a single entity, either! You might feel that you need coaching for women in your situation to plan how to attract "Mr Right"!

To start with, give yourself a good talking to! It's essential that you tell yourself it's fair and reasonable to seek the attention of another man again. Society is full of preconceived notions and you may encounter resistance from certain "friends," acquaintances or fellow workers advising you, subtly or directly not to do so. Tip number one - ensure that you give yourself permission!

If you're preparing to get into the dating scene once again, you're going to need to be ready for the reactions of your children. You need to anticipate questions and possibly a certain amount of hostility. After all, someone else might want some of your time too, from now on. Make a point of having an honest and open dialogue with your children and don't even think about telling partial-truths or even blatant lies. Explain that mummy needs to be with her new friends, just as they do with theirs. A small amount of time spent in in this kind of preparation will pay substantial dividends in the coming months. Tip number two - be open with the kids!

Don't obsess about finding a man. Understand that you're currently getting along well in your role as a single mum and you don't want to jeopardise that under any circumstances. After all, you are far more likely to attract the right man if you don't come over as needy and desperate. Therefore, you should not put too much emphasis on your man-seeking activities to the point of obsession. It's OK to look and make an effort to "see and be seen" in appropriate social circumstances, but keep it in check and remember to enjoy the process rather than making it into a mission. Tip number three - everything in moderation!

You are quite rightly proud of your kids, as they are of you. It takes a gentle introduction however when it comes to your new man interests. Never be apologetic about your family. On the contrary, especially as you should have a good idea how he is likely to react to the idea of children. You would scarcely want to go further than the first encounter if you thought it would be negative. While a gentle introduction is called for, don't think that you have to roll the kids out every time that you meet. There's a time and place for integration, gently does it best. Tip number four - integrate gently!

It's perfectly normal and understandable to think about how the potential "he" might make a good father figure and to wonder whether your new man may be the answer. Don't be tempted to put too much pressure on the situation by leaning on him. Making him an automatic father figure won't work and you shouldn't impose on him to do pseudo-parenting duties right away. It's not okay to ask him to pick up the kids from school every day. Tip number five - don't allocate roles!

It can be difficult sometimes, but always keep your head on straight when you're in the early days of dating. If you fall head over heels, you will probably want to spend time with him, but you must be able to balance this with your other commitments. The children are a priority until such time as your relationship becomes more grounded and looks like it's set for the long-term. Tip number six - keep your head on straight!

Being a single mum is difficult, especially if you're trying to balance a demanding career as well. Remember that online life coaching is designed to be a helping hand in time of need for those who seem to have little time to devote to anything and are seeking answers to difficult questions.

Amanda Alexander is the Founder and Inspiration behind Coaching Mums. She’s a distinguished ICF accredited coach, who for almost seven years now, has been bringing a new feeling of hope into the lives of working mums from around the world, showing them how to discard their guilt, rediscover their passions and to have a lot more fun! For amazing articles and truly effective professional coaching tips, sign up to get "Inspire" right away, our absolutely outstanding free newsletter!

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